{"id":2086,"date":"2017-07-25T21:41:07","date_gmt":"2017-07-25T21:41:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.budsies.com\/blog\/?p=2086"},"modified":"2021-06-18T13:59:17","modified_gmt":"2021-06-18T13:59:17","slug":"steps-bully","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.budsies.com\/blog\/guest-blog\/steps-bully\/","title":{"rendered":"4 Steps to Deal With a Bully"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

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Every parent fears that their child will have to deal with a bully. A bully can take a toll on the confidence of even the most outgoing children.<\/span> The effects of bullying can be extremely serious. If you\u2019re finding yourself in a situation where your child has a bully, here are some steps you can take:<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Understand Why Your Child is Being Bullied<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

When you realize your child is being bullied, your first emotion is likely anger. It\u2019s normal to be upset about a bully; the consequences for the victims of bullies are very serious. However, it\u2019s important to understand why bullies act the way they do. This can help you view the issue more objectively and also help guide the actions you take against bullying.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Typically when someone is bullying others, it\u2019s because of unhappiness or insecurities in their own life. Putting others down, threatening violence, or even physically hurting others is not healthy behavior, so it makes sense that the people who do these things aren\u2019t healthy themselves. Particularly for children, the feelings of insecurity and extreme need for attention that leads them to bully is indicative that they are also hurting.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children who bully<\/span><\/a> often come from homes where they are neglected, exposed to drug or alcohol abuse, or do not receive positive affirmations. They may live in poverty or have parents who suffer from mental illness. Bullies often have low self-esteem and feel relief from taking power from others.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

While understanding why children bully doesn\u2019t justify the actions of a bully, or make you feel better if your child is a victim, it can help put things into perspective. Understanding where a bully is coming from can be very productive in resolving conflicts, particularly if you plan to speak with the offender\u2019s parents.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Communicate with Your Child About Bullying<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Bullying affects victims in many different ways.<\/span> That’s why it\u2019s important to talk to your child about how they feel.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The high levels of stress associated with bullying can cause physical symptoms. This is why when many children are bullied, they will say that their tummy hurts to avoid going to school \u2014 it\u2019s probably true. You can relate to unpleasant feelings of anxiety<\/span>. Bullying can make it hard to focus on s<\/span>chool work<\/span>. That’s why victim\u2019s grades often suffer.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kids who are bullied might be nervous to talk to their parents or teachers about what\u2019s happening.<\/span> They could be fearful of making the bullying worse. However, it\u2019s important to connect with your child and discuss what is happening to them and to take steps towards ending the harassment. When your child feels comfortable talking to you about their feelings about the bullying, you can help them work through them, and reaffirm that they are important, valuable, and do not deserve the abuse they\u2019ve received.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take time to do some special activities with your child where you emphasize that differences should be celebrated. Talk about the things your child is good at, and tell them why you\u2019re proud of them. Building up your child can give them the confidence to stand up to a bully.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Reach Out to Your School<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

If your child encounters a bully at school, it\u2019s very important to alert school officials as quickly as possible. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes the effects of bullying, especially long term, may result in a situation where the victim would best be helped by a professional. <\/span>School counselors<\/span><\/a> are properly equipped to deal with the trauma of bullying and to deal with bullies themselves. Counseling can help a child cope with bullies.<\/span> School counselors can work as a neutral intermediary between your child and their bully. They are also often on site, so they can work to combat bullying when it\u2019s happening.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your child\u2019s teachers will also be key in helping you deal with a bully. A teacher who\u2019s aware of bullying can stop the bully the moment they observe abusive behavior, work to separate the bully from the victim, and discipline the bully when they act. Teachers can often work with both sets of parents to alleviate the harassment.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your school may also provide a parent directory, where you can find information about where to contact the parent of the bully. Speaking calmly and objectively to the parent of your child\u2019s bully can often do a great deal of good. Parents of bullies often feel horrible about the actions of their child and will work to help stop the abuse.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

4. Build Your Child’s Skills<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

It is never a child\u2019s fault when they are the victim of bullying.<\/span> There isn\u2019t anything you can do to guarantee that your child won\u2019t be bullied. It can be easy to go into full <\/span>helicopter parent mode<\/span><\/a> in your attempts to protect your kid, which can actually be more damaging to your child\u2019s self-confidence and independence. However, bullies often target individuals who they feel are vulnerable or who are different from them. By helping your child feel confident and teaching them that their differences are good, you can build skills that will boost their ability to deal with a bully.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the best ways to prevent bullying is to <\/span>encourage children to stand up for other children<\/span><\/a> who are bullied. When a victim of bullying is surrounded by support from their peers, a bully is likely to stop the abuse. Intervention from peers is much more powerful than that from teachers, parents, or counselors.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the issue is cyberbullying, encourage your child not to reply to the bully. If you can find out who the cyber bully’s parents are, contact them, as well as the child\u2019s teachers if they attend the same school. Save the messages the bully sends your child, but don\u2019t keep them where your child can access or re-read them \u2014 dwelling on the hurtful words won\u2019t help them recover.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, remind your child that they didn\u2019t do anything wrong and that they are not the issue. Building your child\u2019s confidence won\u2019t always make the bully stop.<\/span> But bullies often back down if their victim stands up for themsel<\/span>f. Let your child know t<\/span>hey are loved. Celebrate what makes them unique, and they\u2019ll begin to realize that their value isn\u2019t defined by their bully.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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A bully can take a toll on the confidence of even the most outgoing children, and the effects of bullying can be extremely serious. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":2087,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[244],"tags":[875,91,95,423,975,976,24,96,424,977],"class_list":{"0":"post-2086","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-guest-blog","8":"tag-ads","9":"tag-budsie","10":"tag-budsies","11":"tag-bully","12":"tag-bullying","13":"tag-counseling","14":"tag-kids","15":"tag-school","16":"tag-steps","17":"tag-what-to-do-if-your-child-is-bullied"},"yoast_head":"\n4 Steps to Deal With a Bully | Budsies Custom Gifts Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A bully can take a toll on the confidence of even the most outgoing children, and the effects of bullying can be extremely serious.\" 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